The Ultimate Experience

The Utah Grizzlies announced their theme for the 2009-2010 season - "Utah Grizzlies Hockey: The Ultimate Experience". While we're not quite sure how we feel about this as a theme, it's a huge improvement over last year's "A Cool Night Out", which basically just reminded you that you need to bring your jacket if you go to a hockey game. (Bring a down comforter if you're planning on eating a giant sno-cone while you're there.)

One thing this new theme does do is make going to a Grizzlies game sound a lot more exciting. The word ultimate when used as an adjective means not to be improved upon or surpassed. (End English lesson.) From Grizz VP (of something) Jared Youngman:

“We feel that there is no local experience comparable to attending a Grizzlies game at the E-Center. From the time a fan steps foot on E-Center property, we feel with our venue, concessions, entertainment, exciting hockey and staff it is an experience that will not be forgotten and become a favorite pastime if it isn’t already.”

Let's investigate.

Venue - The E Center was built for hockey. It hosted hockey in the 2002 Olympics, including the gold medal match between the US and Canada, so it has history. The fact that it occasionally is home to Britney Spears, Whitesnake, and Sesame Street Live is not important. No matter where you sit in the arena, you can see the action on the ice. You can even read the players' numbers from the cheap seats without your glasses, although if their names are really long, or Russian, you may have trouble with that. Other than occasionally having to sit next to someone who smells like feet (which could happen anywhere, unfortunately), we give the venue gold stars. Or whatever bonus we're giving out this season.

Concessions - We haven't experienced all the concessions at the games, which just goes to show how many choices are available. Nachos, pizza, ice cream, hot dogs - we've even seen people eating salads. Prices are fairly ridiculous, but where aren't they? They usually have promotions where you can get $1 hot dogs or sodas on certain nights, and there are ticket packages that include food items available for purchase. We can vouch for the tastiness of the burgers, and the fact that the big sno-cone is really big. For some reason, we can't remember having hot chocolate at a game. Weird. Thumbs up for the concessions we've consumed. Or something.

Entertainment - We hope they're not talking about the intermission entertainment here, because if we have to listen to dueling pianos one more time we may start kicking teddy bears. But most nights the hockey is entertaining, and if the game is kind of slow, there are always the fans. Looking for the guy with the striped tights is like Where's Waldo for the Grizzlies games. Extra points for the chick that dances.

Exciting Hockey - We'll be the first to admit that every team plays a snoozer once in a while. Watching the Devils is practically a cure for insomnia. And with The Beast (a.k.a Nathan Lawson) up in the AHL, there's definitely going to be a certain level of crazy missing. But hockey is just an exciting sport in and of itself. Every element of the game is subject to chaos at any given time, whether it's goaltending, scoring, fighting, line changing, or just trying to figure out why there are five guys sitting in the penalty box all of a sudden. We'll give them... something... for that one, with reservations. Gotta see how the team turns out.

Staff - We mostly just try to stay out of their way. We would need more information to explore this. Maybe we'll try annoying them this season and see if it works.

So does all this add up to The Ultimate Experience? We're not going to tell you - that would ruin the surprise. What we will tell you is that for slightly more than it would cost you to go to a movie you can head out to a nice facility with a great atmosphere and watch a bunch of grown men crash into each other on the ice. (Total entertainment right there.) If it doesn't make any sense, find the nearest hockey jersey-wearing fan and ask them to explain. They won't mind. If you already know hockey, you can drag along someone who doesn't and teach them. You'll be supporting a local team and promoting hockey in the area. (These guys don't make a lot of money so they appreciate all the support they can get.) Then ask yourself at the end of the season how the experience was. Our guess is that it's a whole lot better than "A Cool Night Out."

Go Grizzlies!